I have been feeling more lonely than usual recently, even though I have been single for close to five years. I think that it is time to try to find someone to get into a relationship with again, because I never planned on spending the rest of my life alone. I am currently looking at londonpleasure and I think that I am going to make an account on the website and see if I can talk to some females. Maybe I will get lucky and it won’t take me too long to find a date with one of them.I have been single for 5 years now, because that is how long ago I was divorced from my wife. (more…)
Most guys just don’t get it…
They’re baffled when they act sensitive, polite and nice when they first meet a woman, then get slam-dunked into her “friend zone” — that no-man’s land where women tell you their problems and cry on your shoulder but won’t even consider dating you.
If you’re a guy who usually ends up in the friend zone, then here’s a wake-up call: your sensitive, polite, innocent behavior does absolutely nothing to create feelings of can’t-keep-her-hands-off-you attraction in a woman.
Creating that feeling requires behaving in totally different way. This in mind, here come three sure-fire ways to escape the friend zone for good…
1. Stop Making Excuses.
When you first meet a woman, don’t make excuses or hide the reason that you’re approaching her in the first place. In other words, your “stories” about wanting to borrow her phone, see what she’s reading or help her carry her bags? Guess what…they all increase your chances of having her think of you as “just a friend” right from the start.
On the other hand, if you want to ignite feelings of attraction in a woman, then you need to come across as potential “date” material right out of the gate. You accomplish this by being direct with her… preferably in a funny way (for example, turn the tables by telling her, “I get so tired of women wanting to get physical with me. You look like you’d just like to be friends, so let’s grab some tea.”).
Do it, and you make her feel intrigued, captivated, and interested instantly…instead of just making her imagine how nice it will be to have you as a friend to help with her phone and carry her bags.
2. Show Her You Have A Life.
Most guys come off sounding a bit shy and needy when they first approach a woman. It’s only natural and extremely common — but it also commonly triggers a natural response inside a woman that says, “Awww, he’s so cute. He’d make a great friend.”
This is why it’s critical to show a woman right away that, even if you’re the shy type, that you have a life. That you’d love to have some fun with her and see where it goes, but if she’s not into it, then it’s no big deal. You have a life, and you’ll just move on (as opposed to hanging around as a “friend” waiting for her). The best way to accomplish this is by not “asking” a woman out at at all. Instead, let her know you have plans and that she can join you if she’d like.
And by the way — make sure that you don’t talk yourself into rejection by “going for it all.” Don’t go on and on about where you’ll take a woman on an amazing date, and how much mind-blowing fun she’s guaranteed to have with you. All of this just creates awkwardness, pressure, and resistance…so don’t do it.
3: Don’t Wait too long to “Make Your Move.”
The biggest reason that a guy gets banished to the friend zone is that he waits too long to make his move with a woman. This means delaying “getting physical” with her, plain and simple. When a man does this, he sends two fatal signals: That he’s not confident, which is the ultimate attraction killer. Or that he’s just not interested in taking things any further.
In a nutshell…you know you’re interested in “that” way, but a woman has no clue until you show her. So early on, guide her with a light hand on her back. Take her by the hand when you cross the street. Throw caution to the wind and go in for that kiss. The worst that can happen is that she pulls back. And then, at least, you know where you really stand and can react accordingly (by either investing more time in her or just moving on).
Either way, here’s what it all of this boils down to: most guys know that once a woman slam-dunks you into the friend category, it’s almost impossible to escape. From then on, they see you as a buddy, a confidante, a shoulder to cry on, also known as the guy she talks to about dating problems with guys that she’s actually ATTRACTED to.
So make no excuses when you approach a woman. Show her that you have a life…don’t wait to make your move …and YOU will become the guy who gets the date (instead of her thanks for being such a great friend).
He loves you, he loves you not. If you suspect your new boyfriend has fallen head-over-heels for you, look for the hard-to-miss signs that he’s in love with you.
Signs that he is in love with you: He treats you with respect
When a man is in love with a woman, he respects her. He cares about the details of her life. He treats her well. If your guy values your opinions, compliments your character, celebrates your accomplishments, pays attention to details, and even accommodates your quirky habits — He stocks the fridge with Diet Coke even though he can’t stand the stuff, for example — you’ve got a keeper who’s falling fast and hard for you.
Signs that he is in love with you: You’re always on his mind
Does he send you funny texts during the day? Do songs, signs and hilarious headlines remind him of you? Does he Google last night’s unresolved debate — “Which is healthier: ice cream or gelato?” — when he’s at work? When you become a very present part of his day even when you’re apart, he’s invested in the relationship.
Signs that he is in love with you: He compromises
Love can soften the heart. Being right isn’t as important as doing right by the other person. When your beau starts to meet you in the middle on topics he’s typically stubborn about — Maybe he’s a movie snob suddenly willing to let you pick a flick he’d otherwise never watch — he’s leading with his heart instead of his head. Signs of selflessness are huge indicators that he’s in love.
Signs that he is in love with you: He touches you in public
Most guys have no qualms about touching their girlfriends in private. With public displays of affection, however, they can be a little more hesitant. When your man puts his arm around you in public, he’s both proudly announcing to the world that you’re together and making a protective gesture. Another love gesture: when he starts offering the hugs and cuddles you crave, with no expectation of sex. He wants to serve you with physical touch, not use it just to get what he wants.
Signs that he is in love with you: He wants to take care of you
Women often roll their eyes at men’s “fix it” instincts; and while he may not be able to fix every bad day, the fact that he tries only points to the fact that he deeply cares about you. He wants to make things better. He wants to provide for you, practically and emotionally. He wants to make you smile. When he puts in the effort to comfort and reassure you, he’s saying “I love you” in both word and deed.
Signs that he is in love with you: He wants you to love his family
Does he want you to meet everyone who’s important to him? When he’s ready to introduce you to people who matter most — and is equally eager to meet your friends and family — he has no intentions of going anywhere. He’s proud to be with you and wants his family to fall in love with you, too.
Signs that he is in love with you: He’s not afraid to fight — or apologize
Sometimes it takes a fight or two to understand just how strong a relationship is. A man in love is one who isn’t afraid of conflict — or apologies. Instead, he fights fair, respects you when things get rocky, listens to your perspective, hates to see you upset, and wants to resolve things well. “Love means never having to say you’re sorry” is the most inaccurate movie tagline ever. (Sorry, “Love Story.”) Love means dropping the pride, admitting when you’re wrong and never being afraid to say you’re sorry.
Signs that he is in love with you: “We” has replaced “I”
Listen to his word choices. When he starts using words like “we,” “us,” and “Team Awesome” — Each guy will have his own way to describe the unit you’ve become — he’s not thinking of himself as a single man anymore. You’re now part of his life. And he loves that.
Signs that he is in love with you: When he talks about the future, you’re in it
Does he make plans for the future that include you? Did he invite you to his buddy’s wedding next fall? Does he joke about your future children together? When he’s got a future with you on his mind, he’s already decided that he has no intentions of letting you go.
Signs that he is in love with you: He says so
If he says he loves you, believe him. A man in love can’t keep it to himself for long.
No one enjoys being lied to, which is why people on eHarmony rank “honesty” as one of the most important traits they look for in a partner. But when it comes to telling ourselves the truth, we don’t always hold to the same standard. Sometimes we fudge a little. Sometimes, in fact, we tell ourselves blatant lies.
Far from innocent and harmless, these self-deceptions can keep us from finding great relationships. Here are five of the most common lies we tell ourselves about dating:
1. “Love is for everyone except me.” Even if you don’t actually say these words to yourself, they may form the basis of a nameless, nagging fear. Either way, the feeling of being destined to forever stand on the outside of love looking in is common. Instead of telling yourself this lie, stop blurring the line between fact and fear. The lack of a significant other in your life currently may be a fact, but projecting that reality dismally into the future is all about fear. It can also become a self-fulfilling prediction, keeping you from exploring new relationships.
2. “I don’t really deserve more.” This lie can prevent you from taking the risk of exploring a new relationship or keep you stuck in a lousy one. Those who believe this lie may find themselves putting up with disrespect or even abuse. It’s counterintuitive to expect someone to love you well when you don’t expect it yourself. If you believe this about yourself, consider talking with a professional counselor about the events or relationships in your life that led you to embrace this falsehood in the first place.
3. “I know this relationship isn’t great, but it’s better than being alone.” People convince themselves there’s no downside to staying with the wrong person until the right one comes along, but the risks are actually huge. There’s the risk of becoming so comfortable with the wrong person that you stay in a mediocre dating relationship, which could lead to a mediocre marriage. There’s also the risk that, being preoccupied with a mismatch, you’ll miss out on the right match.
4. “It has to look like ‘love at first sight.’” Many people don’t take the time to get to know themselves or identify the essential qualities they need in a partner. These people often come to a first date with selection criteria based on distortions, and they make important decisions based on the delusion of “immediate chemistry.” If sparks don’t fly right away, they might pass on a great individual without giving chemistry a chance to develop. Or they may pursue the relationship based on chemistry when other vital qualities are missing.
5. “If I ignore this red flag, it’ll go away or change.” Sure, and that grinding noise coming from your car will also disappear if you pretend it’s not there! Unfortunately not. If you have nagging concerns about someone you’re dating, ignoring them only delays the inevitable. Convincing yourself otherwise is a sure path to disappointment and even heartache. You might end up wasting months and even years with the wrong person, missing out on better prospects in the process.
Recognizing and rejecting lies is a critical step in wise dating. By telling yourself the truth, you’ll be equipped and empowered to find a loving relationship. I wish you all the best in your search.
Oh, yes, they’re watching! Teens may not always seem interested in what their parents are doing but when it comes to dating and love, they are watching every move. Here are some tips on how you can model healthy dating and help the next generation steer clear of some tough situations in their own relationships.
1. Money Matters
Dinner and drinks can add up to over a hundred dollars in no time. Finding fun, healthy activities that are free or low cost will show teens that quality time getting to know someone does not have to mean you go broke in the process. Go for a bike ride, take a walk or just sit on the front porch talking. Dating does not have to be expensive; every moment does not have to include a limo and a bottle of champagne.
2. Mental Math
Leading with logic is the best way to keep from making unhealthy choices. By demonstrating that you are keeping your head engaged and not letting your heart run wild, you will influence how your teen views relationships. Make your list of “deal breakers” before you begin dating and keep your children’s needs in mind. Tip: location, location, location. Most teens don’t want to move. Dating someone who is geographically undesirable will typically cause unnecessary stress for everyone.
3. Physical Fitness
Personal touch and closeness is every teen’s love language. When they see (or hear) that adults are keeping healthy physical boundaries, it makes it easier for them to embrace the idea of personal respect when they begin dating. Talk with them about what to expect in terms of affection and always consider their perspective. One rule that should not be overlooked: never have someone from last night’s date sitting at the breakfast table the next morning!
4. Emotional Energy
Dating can be an emotional rollercoaster if not kept in check. Be honest and open about your feelings while keeping the drama in neutral. Encourage your teen to express their feelings about the process and their perceptions and carefully respect their views. Slow and steady is the best example to model healthy dating. If you need to break off a relationship, do not involve your teenager.
5. Spiritually Savvy
While each person has their own set of values, morals, and beliefs, be careful not to compromise in areas you have raised your teen to view as sacred. This can send a mixed message that will probably backfire when they begin to date. Be clear about your beliefs up front with the person you date and don’t settle for something that will undermine the family framework. Even slight variations in this area can cause big problems down the road.
Finding love in this culture is not easy. Dating, with kids that live at home, is a big commitment but with a few simple practices in place, the journey will be far less bumpy. During the teen years, parents have the amazing privilege and the responsibility to show their kids how they will navigate relationships, dating, love, and even marriage. The caution is that teens today live in a world of entitlement and speed – both of which cause accidents. Teaching teens about healthy love is one of the greatest gifts a parent can give them.
After a long drought, it’s tempting to think it will never rain again. Here’s why you should keep looking up.
People who are single, but don’t want to be, find it easy to grasp Einstein’s Theory of Relativity. He once said, “Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That’s relativity.”
Anyone wanting to spend time with a pretty girl or a handsome man, but instead has endured years of fruitless searching, has no trouble picturing the “hand-on-a-hot-stove” analogy. The prospect of another day alone can feel as if time has stopped entirely—and that love will never arrive.
“Never” is an infectious word, like a flu virus. Once you’ve caught it, everything loses its luster. Exhaustion and depression become lead weights strapped to your feet. All you want to do is stay in bed and pull the covers over your head.
As justifiable as this state of mind may be (the stove really is hot, after all), it’s not very useful. Because unlike the real flu, this one won’t go away on its own.
Fortunately, there is a cure. Just as your condition began as an idea—that true love is a rare creature you are likely to never see—it can end with one as well. Here it is: Love is always closer than you think. That’s not another empty greeting card slogan. It is the truth. Love is always nearby, even when all appearance argues against it.
The romantic comedy “Love Actually” begins with a montage of touching scenes filmed at London’s Heathrow airport. One after another, people come through the arrivals gate and are greeted by someone they love. They embrace and kiss. They cry, they laugh. Hugh Grant narrates the imagery:
“Love is everywhere. Often it’s not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it’s always there: fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends … If you look for it, I’ve got a sneaking suspicion that love actually is all around.”
When you are resolved to resist words like “hopeless” and “never,” you will see evidence of love everywhere you go. You’ll stop visualizing vast distances between you and the love of your life. Rather, you’ll imagine that he or she is just around the corner. You’ll recognize the love you see between a small child and her grandfather at the park, or best friends huddled for hours over coffee. It is a ubiquitous current that never ceases to flow—and that is presently carrying you and your partner toward each other.
Love is always closer than you think. Write these words on sticky notes and wallpaper your world with them. Put them on your bathroom mirror, in your car, beside your bed, on the inside of your front door, so it’s the last thing you see before you go out. It will help make the hours of waiting for romance seem like minutes instead.